The Small Girl

Wed, 04/04/2018 - 19:24 -- bellasc

I have always been the small girl. The short girl ,the skinny girl, the I can wrap my fingers around her wrist girl. The eat a cheeseburger girl.

Soon, there was a new girl a new small girl, I was gaining weight. I watched the number move from 90 to 100 to 110 and I started to hate myself for it, for each pound I gained I was straying further from the Small girl, the girl I knew.

The counts her calories girl, The I can see your ribcage girl, The apple for lunch girl, The always going to the bathroom after eating girl, Always chewing gum girl. I was not myself.

The small girl was still the small girl, I striving to be her. To be small. To be anything but these few extra pounds. It was always just a few extra pounds.

The never eating girl. The I can wrap my fingers around her thighs girl. The going to the hospital girl. The BMI lower than her age girl. The recovery girl.

I am not the small girl. Sometimes I still wish I was. Each victory of mine is a simple feat to the average person. I am no longer the girl of hospital beds and impatient and throwing up.

The I had a donut for breakfast girl. I ate my apple without cutting it into tiny pieces first girl. The I ate when I was hungry girl. The recovery is hard work girl.

But sometimes, I see this small girl in the hallways, And in the back of my head I know I would do anything to be her. But I won’t, Instead I will eat this apple,

Without cutting it up first.

 

This poem is about: 
Me

Comments

Additional Resources

Get AI Feedback on your poem

Interested in feedback on your poem? Try our AI Feedback tool.
 

 

If You Need Support

If you ever need help or support, we trust CrisisTextline.org for people dealing with depression. Text HOME to 741741