Not the common joys

of laughter and hobbies

but the impossible.

 

Certainty.

Certainty brings me joy.

Knowing that I will be secure

that I will succeed

that I can make it into college

and come out saddle-bag free.

 

Certain that I'll have a job

certain that I'll make her proud

 

because approval.

Approval brings me joy.

makes me twist

shout

dance.

 

Certainty and approval cannot be guranteed

so I suppose

that comedy brings me joy

if only as a distraction from the lack of certainty and approval