I wish I could tell you then, how much I really love you.
You became less important, as my love for others grew.
You are a true gift, a blessing indeed; I wish I knew that then
How could I do this to you? Why did I not think of you then?
If I’d told you that I love you, things would’ve been different.
There wouldn’t have been a cruel newspaper announcement,
telling the world that, here goes another young life unheard.
You wouldn’t have been lying in that coffin, cold and unstirred.
I was in pain, I was angry; with the world I was very distressed.
In that intense moment of grief I don’t know how I simply missed,
thinking about the little treasures, pleasures I did have in my life.
I forgot that in experiencing living, there is joy, peace, pain and strife.
Alas! Death seemed an instant end to all my worries and troubles.
I didn’t pause to even remember sunshine and tiny soap bubbles.
I miss hearing the sound of a bird chirping and a puppy’s whine,
the giggle of a child and the heartbeat I heard and knew was mine.
I miss the aroma and the taste of delicious fresh baked bread.
The love I had of sleeping like a child tucked in my warm bed
I miss colors; I miss flowers and dewdrops on the green grass.
In pain I cried and just waited in vain for the storms to pass
I wish rather than waiting, I’d taught myself to dance in the rain.
I miss music and listening to songs that could ease my pain.
It’s dark here, I see nothing, I hear nothing and I do not exist
I killed you, i killed me, and myself imagining that there was an exit
It’s a void, deep, dark, it is vacuum, there’s absolutely nothing here
the pain, the problem and the regrets will never really disappear.
If only I had loved me more than anything or anybody
I wouldn't have been today a cold,dead, lifeless body.