The Not so Pretty Story of Snow White
There once was a girl named Snow White
Everyone in the land thought she was the most beautiful and bright
Except for the evil queen, who hated her a ton
So Snow White had to go on the run.
Snow White stopped for a drink at a tiny shack
Where she saw dwarfs headed to work at the railroad track
She begged and pleaded for a place to stay
They said if she cooked and cleaned it would be okay.
Snow White agreed, knowing she wouldn’t do a chore
So she jumped into bed and she started to snore
The dwarfs thought she was too tired to clean
But little did they know, the pretty princess was spoiled and mean.
Day after day, Snow White stayed in bed
And after a while the dwarfs wanted her dead
The dwarfs told the Evil Queen, “Snow White lives in our house”
And they sent her there hoping Snow White would end up as dead as a mouse.
The Queen gave Snow White a poisonous apple so red
She knew if she ate it, that she would be dead
Snow White took the apple and then said goodbye
Then she threw the apple, out the window, into the sky.
The Queen made pies and cakes trying to put Snow White in danger
But Snow White would never accept food from a stranger
The dwarfs had enough of Snow White
So they came up with an evil plan that night.
The next day, Snow White woke up to make a snack
And then the dwarfs all started to attack
Hitting her with instruments, brooms, and a bat
The treated her like they were killing a rat.
Then they all fake cried, mourning her death
Covering with roses and baby’s breath
Then they left her in the forest isolated
The most beautiful girl that everyone hated.
Then a Prince found her asleep in bliss
And he tried to wake her up with a kiss
When their lips touched Snow White started to yell
“Are you five? You thought kissing a dead girl would break a spell.”
The Prince got embarrassed and started to blush
He said he was sorry, and admitted that he had a crush
Realizing he was a prince, Snow White agreed to be his wife
She knew that she could freeload off him for the rest of his life.