I try, I really do

But it never seems enough

It plagues my mind, Day and night

The voice just won’t shut up.

 

I constantly want more

But at the same time, want less

My thoughts are never satisfied

Contradiction at its best.

 

The idea is introduced

The world seems to stop

My head starts to pound

Do I do it, or not?

 

If I were to give in to it

Happiness would come first

But with all my control lost

The despair would start to burst.

 

I’d be a car without brakes

No ability to regulate

The memory of me speeding

Will haunt me for days.

 

But if I resist the temptation,

The battle is not won

Deep down I know the truth

Of what could be done.

The rumbling pain in the pit

It will never go away

It just follows me around

As the energy begins to fade.

 

So here I am, stuck

One step forward, one step back

I want to move on

Yet I long for the past

 

I am unhappy most days,

Constantly sitting on the edge

I cannot fight my worst enemy

As it’s the voice inside my head.