Behind me trails the overcast fading into a storm. I came so far from where I began. Adulthood began with a raging shower packed with lightening, thunder, vigorous winds and darkness. All tumbling and tussling the lies, truths, the unknown and the questions, the answers, and the problem.
The hurricane left me. Every bit of me was shattered and shredded away. I was expecting nothing more than a light mist trailing from hill to hill and a little mud. No, not a flood or a quake so haunting. But without a clear sight scope, my eyes were limited and blinded to a lingering sunset. It was already over before it began. With no chance of holding the sun with its mass, I pace my plans of action with time winding away. Never I thought what I didn’t want was something that I needed. An eye opener, a spine. I needed to get lifted to my stars or my many fish. Even higher to my maker. It is because of Him that I am breathing so that I could write this fictional autobiography to you.
How I wish that I could have avoided that storm and the trauma my heart has suffered but I remember His voice that later brought me out. The hands, the arms, the shoulder that was always there. It was He that sent a divine and pure life savior and another: who leads me to Him.
Throughout my storm I get stranded where I am and somewhere I shouldn’t be. I got knocked off course within the ark. Two of everything was lost and I was left with nothing. Darkness was with high hopes and disappointments, failed attempts, with a love that never was. Fog clouded my thoughts and the funk of the ocean held me captive, victim, hostage. Naïve, I was asleep…in denial, in another world. The enemy had me fooled. He had me thinking everything that I wanted was what I needed.
Then in the mist of the darkness, came a light. Potent indeed. It was something that I needed but did not want. The light revealed everything. The chaos that was upon me, troubling me, burdening me. Out of fear I trembled where I stood. Losing was no option but it was the motive…the plan, His plan that I did not know of.
The captain of the ship became victim to the raging waters and was overturned by his own chaos. And then it was I, sailing alone. I refused it for long, and with the last bit of strength I failed. The light grew larger as there was room for it to grow. It’s almost as if there was not room for both.
There they were: my life savior and the other. My life guard knew I would make it in one piece. The other was one of a kind. His eyes electrified at my smile. He grasps me with a loving comfort. One that my lifeguard and my maker knew that I needed.
I am taken into hospitality while I remain guarded. The things I wanted and needed were finally present. My life savior stood aside me, healing my wounds and the trauma and the pain…restoring everything. The other holding my hand.
They both told me that I was strong. I was never left alone for my maker and my lifeguard were always there. In the time left to spare, my maker made me a love to accompany me for my sails in the future. He sent me a navigator that could lead me back to Him. He loved me enough to salvage what was left and rebuild. He loved me enough to send me a life savior that sailed me on course to a better life. A course that lead me right back to Him.
For now I rejoice and set sail with a crew of four and myself. For now, I relax and remain full of joy. But I am prepared to sail upon angry waters. At any time I am ready, for I have won and the enemy did not. Now he is plotting.
To my readers:
Adulthood begins without parents, life begins with God.
(poems go here)