i never believed anyone

who said they'd found their soulmate

i never trusted those 

who believed in true love

until

it was me

writing crazy love poems to stay grounded

and 

feeling my throat tie up in knots when you looked around to me 

and 

i found myself guilty

of giggling like in idiot when you made me laugh

and 

you always made me laugh.

and 

getting dizzy when you said my name

or 

finding myself seeking you out in a crowded room

you're the one i came running to

so i found hope

less judgement on the known

who were ridiculed for wanting 

a love of their own

for i myself was acting just as mad

and 

when i thought that maybe this could work out

and

i could handle this vulnerability

and 

i found out that 

i

was just a stupid girl drunk on your grin

when

you didn't even know the real me

just that i was a 

real

great

friend

lost all hope once again

how stupid of me

to believe

the crazy lover's mind

to think that something so perfect

could work out for me?

please,

it was never

meant

to 

be. 

 

 

 

                                                                                          -c.a.