Letter to myself, before I was a survivor.
Hey kid.
Keep doing what you’re doing
I know sometimes it hurts to exist
I know no one seems to understand
I know you’re afraid to tell them
There’s so much we will never tell
So many secrets between you and I
I’m case you’re wondering
We’re still single
I know I promised we wouldn’t be alone
But we’ve embraced alone
Loneliness is only as scary as you make it
And we have friends now
Not like the friends you had
We have friends who stay
Friends who ask if we are alright
Friends who check in out of love
Friends who text first
Friends who make you laugh
Make you smile
Friends who you don’t have to hide for.
And I know people keep telling you that things will get better
That we will get better
And I know you never believed such things,
That things would get better.
But they did. Maybe not in every way
Maybe not how we’d hoped
But things got better
And I’m sorry
I’m sorry that we never really did
That our head is still full of storm clouds
See, I didn’t get better,
I just taught myself how to survive
And sometimes that’s just as good.
Teach yourself how to breathe
How to stand tall and walk again
Because although you may always have days when the shadows block out the sun,
You will also make so many memories
And you will be so glad to be here
And that you didn’t miss it.