A Letter Of Last Year

Dear Doubtful Loved Ones,


My mental illness is not a product

Of failed relationships.

My mental illness is not a result

Of someone not loving me.

My mental illness is not based

On what others think I'm worth.

My mental illness is derived from who I am-

Who I was meant to be.


I am so much stronger than I was before-

I can climb mountains when I used to struggle up hills.

I can run miles when I used to lose breath walking inches.

I can stand tall when I used to crouch in unpleasant spaces.

I am nothing like I was before.


But I still have the mind I was given.

The chemistry,

The soul,

The brain.

I still have to overcome each obstacle

That comes my way.

And they come.

They come every day.


I live with anxiety.

In fear of what isn't there.

A life that I wish on no one.

A life I've come to know.


I live with little confidence.

Although I know my worth.

It's a life I wish on no one.

A life I've come to know.


I live with self-inflicted scars on my arm,

And though I no longer hide them,

It’s a life I wish on no one.

A life I’ve come to know.


I live with all my demons.

Mine, far worse than some.

Baggage I wish on no one.

But baggage I've come to know.


And even though I claim these traits,

I no longer let them control.

I have power over myself,

And I know I can grow.

The ones who constantly doubt me,

The ones I'm supposed to know best,

Even they can't stop me. 

Even they can't crush me. 

Even they can't belittle me. 


I am now a warrior, 

And if you couldn't tell,

I'm fighting the battle of a lifetime,

And I'm winning,

So go to hell. 


Sincerely Yours,


This poem is about: 


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