I Want to Change the Word “Depression”

Today,

Depression is synonymous with crazy.

My mother treats me like

A live bomb,

Ready to explode at any minute.

She tells me that I need the meds again

Because I’ve been “too irritable lately”.

Apparently when you’re recovering from depression

You’re not allowed to feel anything.

 

I want to change the way

People look at me

When I wear shorts in the summer.

I’m sorry that I am no longer ashamed

Of the light purple scars

That litter my thighs.

They’re a part of my past,

A reminder that I survived.

I can’t make them go away, anyways.

 

I want to change the way

I am treated like a fragile doll

By everyone around me.

I am stronger now.

I’m not going to break again.

Please don’t try to protect me.

I can protect myself.

I always could.

 

I want to change the way

That someone can look at their daughter

Or lover

Or best friend

And view them as irreparable

Because a man in a white coat

Says they’re depressed.

I do not have a terminal disease.

I can get better.

 

I want to change the mindset

That someone can wake up one morning

And decide to not be depressed.

I didn’t choose to feel this way.

 

I want to change the word “depression”

To "cancer of the mind"

Because maybe then I’ll be supported

To conquer a disease I did not ask for

Instead of being shunned

For having depression.

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