I know how it feels.

To hate the food you put in your mouth.

So why not go without?

A day?

Barely eat anything?

Not a problem.

Because you can use it.

You need to lose that weight.

 


I know how it is.

To avoid the prying questions, innocent at first.

Whatdidyoueatforbreakfast?Didyouhaveanythingtoeatearlier?Youneedahamburger,okay?

 


I know how it feels when the questions turn suspicious.

Areyoueating?Howmuchdoyouweigh?DoyouknowIcanseeyourbones?




I know how it is to be more worried about body fat than nutrition.

Afewmorepoundsafewmorepounds.I’llbeskinnier=prettier.


 

I know that twisted pleasure to hear the doctors say you’re underweight.


Yes, that’s exactly what I want.


 

And I know how it feels to get in too deep and lose yourself

Inthenumbersofmeals,numbersonthescale,numbersofthecalories.


 

I know what if feels like to be trapped in a body you believe

To be fat and ugly and disgusting.


 

And I know what it feels like to look back at pictures, years later, and discover that a bag of bones is not what I wanted to look like.

That my body ate the muscle and the fat until I was hallow and haunted.

I was haunted.


 

Rise from the ashes, it can be done.


I know how it feels.