Why is it so hard to get better when that is what you really want to do?
Some days it is easy, and other days it is so hard that the thought of being in control is something that you can't do.
I want to get better, but the thought of it makes it so hard, and my brain takes over and won't allow it,
And as much as I try to fight it, the thoughts and the urges everntually take over, and they come with a serious hit.
It is something that I pushed to the side, and I never dealt with it, but I thought that it was over,
But pushing them aside only makes it worse, and it allows for the thoughts to take control and to hover.
Right now I have the time to work on me, and I want, or I need to do this,
Before it is too far out of control and the opportunity that I had to fix it was missed.
I'm tired of sitting in my bed at night feeling like I will never be happy and that I am not enough,
But I know that I can do this if I muster up all of my strength and courage, even though it will be tough.
I am that person who always reminds everyone of what they are capable of and of their worth,
But I am tired of being everyone else's cheerleader, and it is time for my rebirth.
I am done not staying fully committed, and from here on out I am going all in,
Because I have the determination to change things, and I am not happy with the way that things have been.
From here on out, no matter what it takes, I am going to do this and I will get better,
I know that it is going to take everything in me, but I don't quit, and I know that it will leave me so much better.