I am not depressed

I can still talk to people

And smile at the beauty in the world

Laugh at funny jokes

Laughter

I will always have laughter

Although there are times

When I smile with my lips

But it does not touch my eyes

There is a vacancy in them

A hollowness I wish to fill

I am not depressed

But I’ve been sad for quite some time

And it comes when I’m alone

When I have nothing to do

And my mind has the unfortunate opportunity

To wander and think

Till my heart begins to ache

In a way that I cannot explain

And my whole body

Suddenly feels heavy

With an invisible weight on my entire being

Perhaps I’d feel better

If I just let it out and cried?

But it is a strange sadness

In which there are no physical tears

Only dry eyes

And a heavy heart

I can still smile

I can still catch happiness

In bits and pieces

Before it slips from my grasp

I am not depressed

But maybe I’m lonely