I Am (And Not)

I am not my chronic illness.

I am not hospitals

Or handfuls of prescription medicine.

I am not my monthly dose of Remicade.

I am not my doctor,

His nurse,

The hovering stigmas,

Or uncomfortable test orders,

And God knows there are a lot.

But that does not define me.

Neither do the IV’s,

Panicked ER visits,

The plethora of vials of blood,

Or worry.

Worry that things will not get better.

No, that is not who I am.

I am sure of my future.

I am strong, brave, and ready.

I am ready for whatever gets thrown my way,

Because I’ve been through it all, yet nothing at the same time.

I am nervous, yet peaceful,

For I know this is part of my story.

I am not Crohn’s Disease.

I am me.




Ready to see the world,

Pursue my passions,

And change lives.

I am struggling,

Not because of stigma,

But because I am struggling to break free from the limitations I have seen the past 18 years.


I am loved.

I am journeys.

I am travels and I am trusting.

Trusting that there is a plan,

Even if it is not ideal,

It will be great,


and promising.

I am confident.

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