Hundred-dollar Bill
Give a baby a hundred-dollar bill
She’ll shove it in her mouth
And immediately spit it out
Because she’d rather suck her own thumb
She hates the taste of strangers’ fingers
That is just gross to her
Give a child a hundred-dollar bill
He’ll shove it in his pocket
And he won’t spend it
Because if he spends it
He can’t tell all his friends
That he has a hundred-dollar bill
Give a preteen a hundred-dollar bill
She’ll shove it in her purse
And head straight to the mall
Because if she has a hundred dollars
She can buy a giant stuffed animal
That she’ll throw out in a year
Give a college student a hundred-dollar bill
He’ll shove it back in your face
And wonder if he made the right choice
Because even though he’s broke
He wants to pretend to himself
That he’s a successful adult
If a hundred dollar bill is as useful to you
As it is to a baby
or a child
or a preteen
Do you really need that fifth house?
While prosperity is lovely, greed is not
So successful adults, hear me out:
Give more students hundred-dollar bills
We’ll love the alleviated stress
And we’ll be able to focus on our studies
Because we all want to do great things but
We need your spare change in order to change so
That we become successful adults