God, Not Like This

When I was a child, I made a wish.

It was a stupid wish.

I didn't wish to have powers or be a hero.

or even to be liked.

Though i didn't have any of those things either.

I had wished to be remembered.

But not all wishes turn out well,

No matter what the intent was when they were made.

Ishould have been smart and wished for peace,

or for my families lives.

maybe then they'd still be alive,

and i wouldn't be an orphan, in a place i don't belong.

with memories no kid should have.

But I didn't.

And they weren't.

And I was.

And I did.

Now, I sit outside the door I trashed last night in a bout of screaming at memories.

The dorm master was talking to the councilmen on the phone.

They didn't say it, but it hung in the air like a water baloon held up by pins.

P. T. S. D. 

They broken boy, poor boy, lonely little orphan.

They pitied me, and would talk of me, but my face isn't what they saw.

When i was a child, 

I had wished to be remembered.

But not like this.

God, Not like this.

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