Nobody notices me

I feel like a ghost

They assume that I'm fine

Though I'm worse off than most

 

I'm not even sure

If I'm dead or alive

I not really living

I just want to survive

 

Some days are better

And some days are worse

But most days I'm wondering

If I have any worth

 

When I see people laughing

And having some fun

All I want to do

Is scream, cry, and run

 

People talk down to me

Every single day

And inside it fills me

With self loathing and hate

 

So that's why I'm lonely

No real friends for me

I try to open up

But feel like a phony

 

When asked why I sit

In a corner alone

I tell them I'm waiting

Then look down at my phone

 

Pretending is easy

It comes naturally to me

And that's why so many

Think I'm strong and happy

 

It's not always fun

To be someone else

But I don't know who I am

So I can't be myself

 

All in all I'm not me

But a ghost

Invisible always

And if I'm not I'm close

 

A.L.