Everything He Said


United States
33° 18' 34.4124" N, 111° 43' 53.9616" W

I'm the one that fell too hard, too fast.
I guess what he felt wasn't happiness.
He saw her for the first time in six months.
Everything he had felt came rushing back like floods.
Who was I?
Nobody now.
I had fallen and he let me hit the cold hard ground.
This didn't seem like it was real life.
Was everything he said just a lie?

Did he not fall for me too, like he said?
Did he just long for a "play-thing" instead?
While I invested my time and my heart.
He was fishing for her from the start.
Comparing everything I did to everything she does.
FIghting over silly things just because.
I never tried to be anything I'm not.
But for whatever reason, it's me he never got.

All these questions running through my mind.
Like why did he even say "I'm so happy to call you mine."?
That's what you told me on that cold Christmas night.
When you wrote me that note that now seem just like lies.

I brought you into my life introduced you to my family.
We embraced you and loved you and never asked for anything.
My friends were pleased to see me so joyful.
They know I don't get giddy over a guy I met just a month ago.
You said that we as a couple just felt right.
And when you asked me to be your girlfriend you were half asking me to be your wife.
I don't know if you were playing some sick twisted game.
But I believed every word you said, now I see that that was a mistake.

I kept my heart open and I trusted you.
I guess trust can always be betrayed, even by someone who "always tells the truth."
I'm not going to mask the hurt that you caused.
Not just to me but to everyone involved.
I'm sorry did I forget to mention?
I have an army of people that care about my well-being.
They know my heart and see that I'm genuine.
Something that you always failed to mention.

Everything you liked about me seemed to just scratch the surface.
Never felt like you even knew your own purpose.
Always on Facebook and answering calls.
And you wonder why you felt you didn't know me at all.
Where were you when we spent every day together?
I was getting to know YOU during all those hours.
The little things too, like how you take your coffee.
Brewed with half-and-half with four pumps to make it vanilla-ey.

I know how you're stubborn and why you raise your voice.
That's the passion you feel behind your every choice.
I know how our story could have been beautiful...
I know how I got swept away because it was all so magical.
I never believed in fairytales but you helped me believe.
I hope you know that you ruined it by dumping me so abruptly.

Not even a conversation to talk about how you were feeling.
That's not how a couple usually decides to end things.
It's God's plan, to that I won't be blind.
But I do doubt you had my best interest in mind.
What did I gain from this experience?
If you think it's all good you must be delirious.

It always ended in a fight.
I'd always wonder what I did this time.
It seemed clear but at the same time it didn't.
Maybe in your life, in your mind, I just didn't fit.
I wasn't the girl you were with for two years.
I'm not the one that caused all your scars and tears.
It doesn't make sense in my brain why you'd want to go back.
I tried to show you how you deserve to be treated with respect.

I guess when the heart cares it cares all too well.
Because the one that I cared for, fell out as quickly as he fell.
My heart is damaged but not beyond repair.
For now there isn't a bandage that won't make people stare.
Questioning why Sharaya doesn't seem herself.
It's because EVERYTHING HE SAID was never truly how he felt.


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