Carlos

Oh my sweet boy

You who were once my morningstar

Far away and too far gone

Lost amidst the endless sea

Drowning you with each crushing wave

Words of priests, words of God.

False gods sought to destroy us

Because their self-proclaimed divinity

Deemed our life as immorality

Crushing our spirituality.

 

But Oh my sweet boy

You were my lighthouse

With light bright enough

To pierce the darkness of my solitude.

I remember the day that I met you

I took refuge in the chapel and prayed

“Lord permit me to love him”

Asking permission from a God

Who at the time I thought still loved me-

And as if divine intervention

We saw ourselves in each other’s eyes and realized

That we were no longer alone.

 

Oh my sweet boy

We both know how this story ends

I gave you my heart and you tore it to shreds

You put the same lies in my head

We spent our lives trying to hide from.

How I wish you just stayed as my morningstar

But Lucifer fell and so did you

Consumed with confusion, immune to preclusion

I lost you the day we were caught-

And faster than I could tell you I love you

Your mother ripped you from our paradise

Stripped you of your identity

Chipped away at your sanity

And my morningstar became a monster

recreated and reborn as my enemy.

 

Oh my sweet boy,

They twisted your mind

And convinced you we were sinners-

That the only way for someone like us

To even salvage or scavenge salvation

was to surrender to the saving power of straight.

I tried to save you from the hell you were enslaved in

But you didn’t want my help.

You convinced yourself that the flames that licked your feet

Were from the burning love of God.

You became what we feared

became what we fought against-

You forgot that you loved me

Tortured me, tormented me

You tried to make me believe that God hated me.

 

And oh my sweet boy,

It worked-

You tainted my mind

Infected my soul

Made me hollow inside

From the stolen heart you never returned.

I thought you would teach me what love is

But I ended up only learning about abuse.

But how can I hate you?

How can I blame you?

You were martyred the day that we were found out-

Your body was crucified and resurrected by the prayers of the conversion necromancers

Reborn and renewed into their model of Christian.

Blame is reserved for those false gods

Who believed saving a boy’s soul justified

Destroying a boy’s spirit.

 

This poem is about: 
Me
My community
Our world

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