Oh my sweet boy
You who were once my morningstar
Far away and too far gone
Lost amidst the endless sea
Drowning you with each crushing wave
Words of priests, words of God.
False gods sought to destroy us
Because their self-proclaimed divinity
Deemed our life as immorality
Crushing our spirituality.
But Oh my sweet boy
You were my lighthouse
With light bright enough
To pierce the darkness of my solitude.
I remember the day that I met you
I took refuge in the chapel and prayed
“Lord permit me to love him”
Asking permission from a God
Who at the time I thought still loved me-
And as if divine intervention
We saw ourselves in each other’s eyes and realized
That we were no longer alone.
Oh my sweet boy
We both know how this story ends
I gave you my heart and you tore it to shreds
You put the same lies in my head
We spent our lives trying to hide from.
How I wish you just stayed as my morningstar
But Lucifer fell and so did you
Consumed with confusion, immune to preclusion
I lost you the day we were caught-
And faster than I could tell you I love you
Your mother ripped you from our paradise
Stripped you of your identity
Chipped away at your sanity
And my morningstar became a monster
recreated and reborn as my enemy.
Oh my sweet boy,
They twisted your mind
And convinced you we were sinners-
That the only way for someone like us
To even salvage or scavenge salvation
was to surrender to the saving power of straight.
I tried to save you from the hell you were enslaved in
But you didn’t want my help.
You convinced yourself that the flames that licked your feet
Were from the burning love of God.
You became what we feared
became what we fought against-
You forgot that you loved me
Tortured me, tormented me
You tried to make me believe that God hated me.
And oh my sweet boy,
You tainted my mind
Infected my soul
Made me hollow inside
From the stolen heart you never returned.
I thought you would teach me what love is
But I ended up only learning about abuse.
But how can I hate you?
How can I blame you?
You were martyred the day that we were found out-
Your body was crucified and resurrected by the prayers of the conversion necromancers
Reborn and renewed into their model of Christian.
Blame is reserved for those false gods
Who believed saving a boy’s soul justified
Destroying a boy’s spirit.