My heart is racing.
I check my pulse and count out the rhythm,
One, two… it’s pacing.
Again, I figure I’m over thinking,
I am surrounded, drowning, and sinking,
No matter what I hear, or see, or feel,
My life’s analyzed.
I feel the burden of a nervous heart.
My sweaty palms are
Entangled; now, blood from my head departs.
And I cannot rest.
Sleep’s a prize, an unexpected gift…
Yet my mind protests.
Every day it appears more difficult
Than the day before.
Hour after hour it’s typical.
Causing silence. I used to drown in it.
I will not give up.
How can I ever think I am alone?
With friends, family,
And prayer, I am never on my own.
Ten years, twenty years from now, I project
That my life will be
Successful; with the world I may connect.
It is not easy.
Worse, miserable days have to exist so
Balance I can see.
Is being quite different or weaker
Really that better
Than being now similar and stronger?
My worries aren’t small.
They’re part of me, my personality.
I embrace it all.
I am grown bigger, towering tall
Over my weaknesses.
I have knocked down the anxiety wall.