If your eyes were like the sun
I'd never want to leave my house
If you were sometimes actually fun
I would bet you'd have a spouse

If your eyes were like the moon
werewolves would feel cursed
If you ever left your pontoon
I swear I would spontaneously burst

If your nose was ever straighter
you'd look like a witch for sure
to you there is no other greater
you think your honestly pure

If people ever saw your feet
bigfoot would be put to shame
If it was me you thought you could beat
you have no one but yourself to blame

Candied words may strike a chord
but hollowed actions bring no salvation
not even those comments that you hoard
will save you from the young of the nation

Now I must bid you adeu
for I have better things to attend to
I leave you with no card or clue
After all who could else could be better than you?