The video loads

Slower than a snail

But once it does, 

You wish it hadn't

 

"Hey guys! It's me,

Apollo,

Here to sing a song about

What else,

Me.

But before I do,

Make sure to like,

Comment, and

Subscribe

To my channel

 

Let's get started"

 

He holds up a guitar

And you cringe,

Then the singing

Starts up

 

"I am Apollo

Dude of the sun

I like to play music

& get some stuff done

 

I have lots of

Girlfriends, admirers too

I don't date just anyone

I might just date you"

 

He pauses, and

Your ears rejoice

Then He glares at

The camera

 

"That reminds me, Daphne- I know you're watching, so I'm calling you out now- It's not cool to turn yourself into a tree just because  you 'don't want to go out with me' "

 

You close your eyes

And swallow your

Revulsion as

The song starts again

 

“I see the future

Most all of the time

I make awesome predictions

And I make them rhyme

 

I heal all diseases-

And make them as well

I use perfect arrows

And choose where they fell”

 

He stops again

And you hope he

Keeps stopping

Please, keep stopping

 

“Wait- no. That doesn’t sound right. Um . . . oh! I choose where they fall. Yeah. I- but, no, that doesn’t rhyme . . .”

 

He taps his guitar

And for a moment,

You have the sudden urge to 

Gouge out your eyes

 

He shrugs, and resumes his song

 

The video drags on,

And so does your urge

To die painfully

Immediately 

 

Finally, it ends

The screen goes dark

You lower the cell phone

And breathe

 

Then you look up

Uncomfortable,

And make eye contact

With your brother

 

“So?”

Apollo asks

“What did you think?”