by Ariel Douglas (8 October 2014)
Sometimes I feel like I’m all alone
even though I know You’re right beside me.
Sometimes I think I’m on my own
even when I know that You’re carrying me.
You never leave my side
even if I’m unworthy.
You never leave me to die
even though I deserve it.
You are the God of my youth
and I know You’ll never leave me.
I may wander from Your truth
but You are ever faithful.
You catch the tears that fall
in my darkest hour.
You capture every laugh and all
of my incessant chatter.
You love me no matter what I do
even if it’s idiotic.
My sin breaks the heart of You
and brings grief to Your bearing.
You do not take that into account
when thinking of what I mean to You.
You love me no matter what amount
of stupidity I display.
You cradle me when I’m torn apart,
You mend me when I’m broken.
You chip away at my frozen heart
and place a fire within me.
What do I do to repay You?
I act in every way
that You tell me not to.
I deserve to be charred,
to be beaten, to be broken.
I deserve Your disregard,
Your scorn, Your holy vengeance.
But what do You give me instead?
You give me hope and grace,
You gave me life when I was dead.
You give me faith to make it through,
You are all of my silver linings.
You provide everything I need
in Your perfect timing.
Sometimes I feel like I’m alone,
and, yes, I deserve to be thus.
But I am never left on my own,
because I believe in Jesus.