My body, MY Body.
It’s funny to think about when for the longest time
it didn’t feel like mine
Now when I trace my fingers across my arms, i am a stranger to this skin
This skin is filthy , dirty.
And so I will scrub and scrub again and again
until my red raw fingers can’t take it anymore.
I will try to wash away
the invisible grime and dirt you left
From when you thought it was okay
to take something that’s not yours.
Because you chose this, my skin and I , we don’t get along anymore
Because you did this we are at war
It’s like a never ending battle to see who will break first
So I slit my wrist until the sharp pain reminds me that I cannot hurt
it, without hurting myself
I can’t just walk up and leave, like how you left.
Like how you left me in the parking lot of Rite Aid crying my eyes out after it happened so I wouldn’t go in and make a scene.
Well in between your mapped out plan I’m pretty sure you forgot one thing
I have emotions I have a heart I have feelings.
I am human too.
You had it all planned out didn’t you? Have me swallow a Plan B ?
Well I bet you didn’t know that now every time I look at my stomach
I wonder if I killed a child.
And I know abortion is a sin
but when I go to confession
I can’t even decide whether to mention it or not
because you didn’t let me make that decision.
I bet you didn’t know that I’d rather have been a mother at fifteen
With a baby of no consent than to have filed
A police report and restraining order with no justice for the victim
You’re innocent until proven guilty?
Is that how you never get caught ?
Is that why this is all just an afterthought
On the back burner of your mind ?
It must be nice . Being okay. Being fine.