Crash Course in Love
A crash course in love for those with little time and no experience:
Welcome
You may not be sure why you’re here
After all, ever since we’re young we’re taught love
In movie theaters and on playgrounds
Love is fed to us like drops of honey
We swallow happily
Romanticizing these invisible bonds we enter willingly
We are taught that love is everything
And I hate to shatter those glass childhood cases our predecessors spent so much time carefully placing our hearts in
But love isn’t everything
Love is not a science experiment
You do not watch it burn, waiting for some chemical reaction
Some feeling you know won’t come
Love is not a math equation
Forcing numbers to bend at your will in hopes that you’ll find what you're looking for
Do not look at your love and see a problem that needs solving
Do not let yourself be plugged into someone else’s unbalanced equations
Love is not an art project
Do not let him rake his clumsy, knife like fingers across your face
Paint bruises on your skin
Crumple you up and dip you into his ideas of what a woman should be
In defense that his presence on your surface has made you more beautiful than you were when you started
Love is not a history test
Your body an archeological dig, with relics for him to steal
A temple for him to walk in and out of whenever he pleases
Taking blessings and forgiveness from that shrine that is your soul
You don’t owe him that
You don’t owe him anything
Love is not an essay
You cannot wrap your words around a loaded gun and make it shoot flowers
He will wrap his hands around your throat
Trying to find his voice lodged somewhere between your flesh and bone
When he does
It will sound like
I’m sorry
I didn’t mean it
I love you
Poison
You will not always know it when you hear it
You will take those regurgitated words and swallow them gladly
Force smiles as they burn like acid in your stomach
Love does not burn in your stomach
Or force itself in when you say no
You may have been told that love equates to value
That the prerequisite for life is a goodnight kiss, a good morning text, a warm body to belong to
As though we are just broken pots waiting to be fixed and filled by some man-made cure
Love is not a cure
And you are so much more than some broken object waiting for a miracle
Love is not a miracle
It is beautiful, but not a miracle
The happy ending our human hearts can't help but hope for
Wait for
But not still and never silent
We’re equipped enough to live without it
Without him, your heart beats
You’re breathing
You have a name
And that's all you'll ever need
Class dismissed