My sister chronicled her life in pictures

Of sports teams, school dances, and friends

Plastered across her walls.

My brother chronicled his in memorabilia

From sports games, movies, and family trips

Placed away in drawers, to take out for friends.

 

I chronicled my life in trophies

In certificates, plaques, and crowns

Sitting on the wall behind my bed.

At the top is my tiara

Locked away, tight, in a black-velvet box

With 'Homecoming Queen' engraved in script

Next to it is my graduation speech

My last act as class president

My honor society cords

For Spanish, Athletics, and overall grades

Then my tennis memory box

With captain embroidered in gold

Next to my varsity letters

Plaques upon plaques upon plaques

'Hardest Worker' '4-Year Achievement'

'Did the Most' 'Most Enthusiastic'

Certificates with signatures I never looked at

Gathering dust

My sashes pinned as a border to the trophies

'Prom Court' 'Homecoming Court' 'Homecoming Queen'

 

My life in trophies

Every memorable moment, put on display

Just as I was at the time I won them

And so many people saw these moments

And so many people saw me

And so many people said 'I want to be like you'

 

But no one saw me

Run to the bathroom and cry

Once the King and Queen dance ended

Because my so-called friends trash-talked me

And told me I didn't deserve it.

Or the box of tissues I went through

The night after graduation

When the boy I loved

Told me he didn't want me anymore.

They didn't see the pills I had to take

Just to be able to sit still in class

Let alone try to pass.

They didn't see me fall apart

Night after night

When I felt so distant from my family

Because my athletics weren't 'real'

So I wasn't really like my siblings

I wasn't a true athlete. 

I wasn't a true member of my family.

They weren't there when I downed

Half a bottle of vodka

Trying to forget that boy

My best friend

Who refused to wish me a happy birthday

Or say hi to me in the hallways

Since he had already erased me from his memory.

And they didn't see me crying

After I heard all the shit they said about me

After they took me for granted

After every miserable moment

 

But they saw me at school 

The next morning, the next week

With my make-up on, my hair done

They saw me in front of the class

Giving a presentation

Or the student body

Giving a speech

They saw me

With a smile on my face

A sparkle in my eye

Ready to take on the world

But the truth is

They never really saw me

Because if they had

Nobody would've said 

'I want to be like you'

Because I pray to god

Nobody ever has to be like me