loathing

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Darkness and isloation the only two things I ever used to know mind your business hold your head down don't let anyone know you are here you exist you take up space but that doesn't matter
Abhorrence burns my fingertips the tongue in my palms coaxing... the yells from my throat it’s like barbed wire on porcelain skin-
Am I Am I beautiful? I know you tell me everyday That I’m more radiant than the sun But I don’t believe it for a second That I’m even remotely attractive   Am I Am I smart?
All the feelings I have choked down have finally ignited in my stomach. All the words I cannot say (as they are not “acceptable”) have given over to acidity, and begun to boil in my belly. 
I can’t place it I want to cry but I’ve passed that point So far deep releasing this would require energy and I have none.  I’m furious and it’s overwhelming I’m angry at myself
The Dreams of Tomorrow Contest entry for Payne County Youth Services 2015, 8th annual contest. As of 12/12/15, results and placements have not been released yet. When they are, I’ll post that in an edit if I placed.
The hollow persists in the space you've wrapped aroundBut the inner circle containsEmptiness, loneliness, painLike the drip, drip, dripThe flow from my brainIt never turns off, never goes, never slows
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