narcissist

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If my mother truly knew best,  then why is it that my father is here and not her?   You keep telling me that I should trust in my mother,  BUT the second I do, it gets thrown back in my face, ten-fold.
Adrenaline boiling in my veins like hot molten hot lava or acid rain. Once the seasons change and the heart heals, nothing will ever be the same.
You used me as a duly deceiving mirror,                  I was no longer me but all that you fear, for a moment you don't feel completely alone,
You used me as a duly deceiving mirror,  I was no longer me but all that you fear
I wish there was an off button for the things I think and feel.  A way to hide my broken pieces, and the scraps until they heal. My head is constant chaos; I worry about all the wrong things. 
I gently pull the stitch My craving formed by an itch, Of the need to express emotion In the midst of this commotion Tears soak my face My mind, my mouth replaced, By the black thread in place.
In and from this world what do we really want?
Twelve years ago in May, My parents decided  in court one day, To break their bond of marriage   I was too young  to really understand. 
Dear God, Where were you? Sincerely, Daughter of an alcoholic narcissist.   Dear Father, Where were you? Sincerely, Daughter of an alcoholic narcissist   Dear Mother,
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