numbness
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The feelings return, like the sunrise
They’re back already?
They cling to my chest and my head
They drain me
They hurt me
They haunt me
I'm tired of thinking,
In test dates,
And terms papers.
When all I really want,
Is to use my imagination.
The stars call my name,
But I'm busy getting A's
There's barbed wire wrapped,
Around my soul.
Like puppet strings,
That others pull.
I march to the beat,
Of my family's drum.
And fear for my sanity,
Which I know is gone.
Sends shivers down your spine
Gives you the chills
Freezes you to the bone
Raises your hairs
Yet it’s oh so kind
It comforts us
dsdThe feeling of butterflies A dead body being surrounded by funeral flies A well made bed A bullet in your head Candles all around The king being crowned The usurper and the dethroned Death take us all The spirits look at logic, appalled In the
Thrown out of my own home
Out into the cold
So young, yet so old
Wisdom doesn’t make you stronger
Holding back tears doesn’t make things better
All I wanted is to live peacefully together
The blaring heat
--no relief.
A rented bedroom I don't even pay for
The smell of the store and freshly purchased paperback novels
A sense of loneliness
with some flirtatious emails
The music box plays no more
Without knowing there's more in store
For she escapes through the color of sound
No longer wishing to be around
A violin plays so faint
The colors fall
It's been so long since I've scratched down a poem,
that I barely know how to let thought run out onto paper.
All these emotions bottled up and I've seemingly
forgotten how to take the cap off.
I see the light slowly filtering from above
Soft arrows of luminance piercing the water
As waves rock me gently
I was born with puppet strings in my skin.
With hooks in my joints and a painted-on smile.
I was born to please and placate,
To be Mommy's Little Angel
(To look pristine).
I was born to vomit bubblegum pink
It’s funny how much I’ve changed. I’m 14 years old, sitting in my room, now surrounded by white. White sheets pinned to the walls, white carpet, white dresser. They were blue once, but that has been drained away.
Your absence hurts me
Why can’t you be by my side?
Mentally killing me
Why are people cruel?
Insecurities haunt me
Please just let me be
My house is covered in gasoline and I'm holding a burning match just waiting to be dropped. I let it fall and watch my house as it blows up in front of me. See I had the key.
No matter how alive
My mind is
Emotionally, I am numb
I am nothing
I stare blankly as my whole world
Just falls apart
And I fall apart with it
Please, someone
Hold me together
Sadness
S-A-D-N-E-S-S
Such a mundane word
For an all-consuming emotion
One that tears up your heart
Your soul
Your mind
And, at times, your forearms
To be fair,
I was happy.
We were happy.
I don't think you know, but I heard the gun.
Now, I live alone in numbness.
The feeling consumes me; that's all there is.
No peace.
Just noise.
When the sunkissed skin is disturbed, like the soil of a fresh grave, it's noticed.
If you look close, or lazily drag your fingers over the forbidden places,
you'll know.
Once it's pulled apart, it's hard to splice.
She stands there
Staring at the mirror
Multiple thoughts race through her head
The voices tell at her
They put her down
She starts to cry
She looks in the mirror
She can't recognize this person
“The youth of America is putting itself into a coma state.” We are all looking for numbness; finding our relief in painkillers. We are constantly looking for things to help us become paralyzed. We wish to become machines.
Crystal rose,
You reflect light so beautifully,
But how does it feel to have petals of stone and not of felt?
To hold no fragrance,
To not sway melodically in the winds’ breeze,
To only be a sturdy copy?
Oh you sentient being
I envy you
My palms outstretched
Toward your skin that feels
Perhaps my heart was born without flesh
To cover its heavy beats
Like a drum without a skin pulled taught
But that reminder would sober me,
Sobriety
Dull, empty
I see the life of me
leave my body.
The muscles on the mouth of
my face fall as if had lost
an epic battle.
Today I don’t exist.
I’ll be the sound of the falling tree that no one hears
I’ll be alone all day and won’t take a thing away from the world
Because today I don’t exist.
I like the cold.
It makes me numb
Can't feel a thing
If I'm frozen
No pain
Or anger
Or heartbreak
I like it better when it's cold
When I'm frozen
Solid.
