cutting self harm
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"im fine" "im fine"
but my scars say im not
pants that cover them
long sleeves to
wishing i could be like you
no scars
no marks
smooth perfect skin
bein able to show your arms
i am a book
and my skin Is The pages
i'll write until tHe end
scalpel in hand
Until the pain is tRuanT
until all iS red
i need to feel.
i need to see red.
i need to hurt.
i need to feel pain.
i need to see my red blood.
i need to feel the pain of the razor blade.
i need to leave.
i need to escape.
I long to cut holes in my wrist,
But those holes turn to eyes
And the eyes see into me.
They stare back uncaring
You see the holes carved into my skin
You say what happened
“Itchy bug bites”
no no that’s not what it is
You see the lines etched deep in my flesh
You ask again
“Playing with my cat” no no no
When I was a kidI always had this weird obsession with band-aidsThey're as close as I could get to the stickersMy parents wouldn't buy me
Emotions
Run wild inside my mind
My tiny brain,
Suffering, Stranded.
Alone.
I see it, the light
It approaches
Just one, to try it,Just one, maybe I'll feel better,Just one, to punish myself,Just one, so someone will notice.
As i watch the tears fall from my sister's eyes as she is dragged by her hair
Her whimpers as her face gets scraped on the concrete.
People have scars
In all sorts of places
Like secret road maps of their personal histories
Diagrams of all their wounds
Most of our wounds heal leaving nothing behind but a memory
But some of them don't
*snap*
Severed ends of a good mood
*snip*
They walk out of sight and out of life
*rip*
Your carefully assembled resolve dissolves
I was twelve when I first started doing it,
You could blame it on puberty or a teenagers strong hormones,
But as I feel each slit,
I can remember the knife I used,
The room I was in,
