Purgatory

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My relationship with my mother Has been a series of trust falls And she's never once caught me . But I keep leaning backwards And hating myself When I inevitably hit the ground .
MIA
Missing In Abyss Why have I gone this far is it to see how far I can go before I slit the throats of the cobra or is it to know my ill mind is legit I'm not paranoid on a meth trip
    I opened my eyes closed (As I often do) A sacred apparition: The Olmec calendar Its cypher illegible  To my kind.
Sky Fades Away String are left to decay Trails end, rails bend Suddenly time melts away   I was on the train to New Orleans When I saw a girl that was in my dreams  
“Nomads, Tattered Pavements and Red Hot Redemption” - Chasing scabs of hematoma finesse, devour flaming beneathA roaming fire ant stumbles upon an enticing physique
Through the hollows, into the grey Across the rolling hills of pain Run all night till the darkest day. When shadows behind the mists play Charge forward to the silent rain
Sometimes I want to be dead, But usually, I don't.  After all, it's all in my head,  So, of course, I certainly won't. But I don't want to be alive, At least not alive like this.
They say “life is like a box of chocolates” I couldn't agree more Of course, it all depends on the eyes of the beholder Some like dark chocolate, sea chocolate, white chocolate…
 How do I reconcile self loathing with the dreams I still have?
Thick with lies I am doused in solitude - a change of events I carry from past to future. Only the bruised mirror of existentialism can open my eyes to a sad truth of careless, reckless, intentional hesitancy.
I can not handle being the perjured and hapless product of a short life defined by reckless love. Without a bandage I receed into my own primal and expensive hallucinations.
On January 13, 2012, it is the premature end of MY world as I know it. I’ve been trapped on this sinking ship for seven hours, But I’ll you my story about purgatory in a minute--
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