'Death' loss

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For Ma Phyllis   There’s a small kingdom,With many people,Yet unknown to the worldThat mourns the loss of their Queen.  
Full-bodied laugh rumbles, rocking your body, escaping a black sinkhole. I've earned your echoing song that stops too soon. You're a dying star,  suffering in secret silence.  
Later, they will tell me I didn’t smile for a year. They will tell me that I look like her, that I move like her, that I sound like her. They will tell me, in not so many words, that I am her daughter and so I cannot be anything else.
Upon this flower I shall gaze,  simple as it’s bloom.  For God has made you there, Living in the lighted Son.    Shall you not go that way?
To care for their children, my big brother and me, My parents would willingly part a raging sea, The modern-day Byzantine icons, living, breathing saints, A slash to my youth, their troubled life taints.  
When I was a child I tried to live in a dome, I couldn’t fathom the convoluted questions of life, I placed myself inside a pretty pink bubble, Where only happiness, peace, and butterflies live,
Life would never be the same without you. My small world was forever changed on that November day. I never really understood why this had to happen, and I cannot say I do now.
There were always those small moments: The first time I drove myself to a friends The first time I told my mom I was going to be my friends’ DD
I know that that is not them I know that I am not acting myself Standing in this room surrounded I feel alone   Face Forward
How can you not be here When your bites marks still Embedded lay, solid in my arm? I fear that you like them will fade And will not scar in substance.
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