You're Like a Toilet, Shallow and Full of S#^%
(Warning: Contains explicit, angry language)
If I could actually save myself, I'd get the fuck away from you.
You ask me to pay the grocery bills, when I'm not allowed to eat the food.
I can't choose any veggies, cant cook for myself, don't have a say in the world.
Except chicken and French fries and chicken and French fries, god I want to hurl.
I have to ask for a drink, ask for a meal, ask to fucking shit
I spend $882 to see someone, and you throw a fucking fit.
You don't throw a fit over the money, it's not yours you had to spend
But you waste every second I have so I spend no time with him.
You threaten to kick me on the streets if I don't sign up for classes
But I beg you to help me pay, and as always, you show your asses.
"No it's not our fucking jobs." Well I guess I'm not your kid.
On second thought, don't bother helping; not like you ever did.
You curse at me, scream at me, throw things and fight when all I ask is to talk
When I fall and collapse and feel nothing but pain, you sit and laugh and gawk.
I slip into darkness, I grab onto pills, and you mock my hospital trip
You say it's normal, it's average, it's not abusive, but yeah, it really fucking is.
When your kid asks for help and you shove them away, it's a hypocritical mess.
Tell me I can talk, can say what I think, but you scream at me instead.
Say sleeping is "stupid" and "enough of this shit" just because you're wide awake
But if we dare make a sound while you rest your precious heads, you'll burn us at the stake.
I don't care about these rhymes, they're lame as shit, but honestly, I just hurt
I feel like they don't care, don't give a damn about me, like I have not a bit of worth.
For years and years I've done everything right, a 4.77 GPA
And instead of helping to get me through, they've only stood in my way.
I work my ass off for weeks and months, going on a year
Got management within 9 months, saving up now, and still I am stuck here.
I should be a leader, I shouldn't be scared, but dammit just leave me alone!
Stop shoving me down and beating me up, how about make this a home?!
Every plate out of place, every napkin on the floor, a 40 minute fest of screaming
I block out the sound, I drown all the noise, I force myself to sleeping
I can't stand it anymore feeling like a disease, like nothing I do is right
I'm sick of screaming, and crying, and feeling this way when every day is a fight.
I just want to be out, to feel like someone cares, to make something of myself.
And I wish you were willing to give me a hand, but now I don't need your help.
I'm not a "selfish bitch" a "cunt" a "whore" I'm none of those you said
But goddamn when you call me them everyday, it really ruins my head.
"You're a selfish bitch. Lazy piece of shit. I never punched you, only slapped"
"Don't hug and kiss, its inappropriate." I don't think I can last.
I'll do it my own, like I always have, but you pretend you've helped me here
When really its me being nothing like you that's got me in the clear.
So hail fucking Hitler you psycho bitch, I'm finally standing free
And what'll you do when it's only you, and I am six foot deep?
Comments
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cammyelion
9 years ago
I hope peeple don't turn away from this poem just because of the use of profanity. Really, it is a beautiful poem and I hope writing it helped you feel comfort in its words. Absolutely fantastic...
fpierre6
9 years ago
I do not mind the Profanity because sometimes it work because it comes from the heart. After all, that is what poetry is a way to express your feelings without any rules. I love it! all the best to you