But you do deserve it.

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sometimes I ask myself why

why did i let myself get this bad
why did i let this happen
i can't answer myself because
in the end,
i started to believe i deserved it
 
things could be always be worse
and it's true
i woke up today
i'm healthy and alive
but i am not perfect
i will never be perfect
 
i don't want to be perfect anymore
i will mess things up
i will feel defeated sometimes
the words that were once thrown at me
to make me feel less of a person
to make me hate my appearance 
have not defined who i am
 
what defines me is how i see myself
i started saying i was beautiful,
even though no one has ever told me that
i started saying i was smart
even though no one has ever told me that
and something incredible happened,
i started to believe it
 
 

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