You were the beacon I needed
as we trailed along a scattered glass shore.
Brine on flesh, we wished to sail
against the heartbeat of crashing waves.
As children, we were a single entity.
Our life was morning mist -
a fog of innocence planted deep
in our heads like one-way wiretaps.
We vowed to preserve that mindset;
where one started, the other would follow
with conjoined fingers, forgiving smiles.
How much reality did ignorance hide?
More than two young men could fathom.
We started as heavy static,
evolving to fractals of heat and passion
while creating an equation based on
constellations - stars melting together.
What we built from childhood waste
was never a plan nor algorithm,
but a "yes" came from swollen lips
with permission to consume me.
We created a beautiful cancer
intended and desired to be terminal.
Our cries of love into the night
were destined for the grave.
I promised to bury you with me.
You have damned me.
The unforgivable has been done.
My future is in ruins.
All thanks to you.
or I'll do it for you.
On my journey to the other side,
I sold myself to a dashing devil,
hoping to taste the venom
of liberation on his tongue.
I came to worship his design,
a flawless muse who erased
the theory that defined "us", "home",
and everything that mattered.
He was my righteousness.
I nailed his gospel into my body,
for I would sacrifice my soul
to cleanse it of your touch.
That freedom never tasted sweeter.
In a cataclysm of selfish sins,
he ruined me most of all.
I can only admit my lack of judgement.
I was wrong. Forgive me ...
Decades are too long to forget,
especially when gazes lock on target.
A black hole is bored through my chest;
the pining carves it deeper.
By pushing away, the impulse strikes
with force and motion, just as the tide.
Now here we are, trapped inside the haze -
lovers blurred between the sheets.
I never expected your return to bring
the calm amidst a long-spoken storm.
You became the ocean depths
to carry my wreckage ashore.