I turn my music up loud, wondering maybe if I turn it up enough, someone might notice I’m crying out, I’m drowning in my thoughts but my words live in a drought, my actions give me away, but I inspire no doubts, in those who walk by me as if I were imaginary.
I feel so isolated at times, even with my family and its absurd, their own voices they’d prefer, a million times before I’m heard, it’s not that they don’t care, I guess their vision has been blurred, so that I’m now invisible, and only I can hear my words, only I feel this hurt, I said I’m over the rejection, the neglect, and imperfection!!
Did anyone hear me???!!!
Seems I’m shouting at my own reflection. Great deception, what I feel, knowing no one seems to pay attention, we all live in the same house but somehow in different dimensions, because I see them, they see me, but there’s no acknowledgment of this tension, I’m alone in the end, just wish someone would pay attention.
So I cut deep into my skin, wishing, hoping, wondering, if maybe I’ll feel something, anything, even the slightest sting, will there even be blood when inside I feel so empty?
Will anyone notice the scars I bear on my arms, will anyone notice I’m doing myself harm? Do I need to ring an alarm, and wear a sign on my head that reads “ I feel dead!” Or should I keep my silence instead, keep dangling my life on this thread, hoping for the pain to end.
One thing’s for sure, one day my words WILL be heard, because I’ll keep reaching out to those who dare to come near me, to those who won’t fear me, who are willing to guide me and rear me, my lips are silent now, but my actions speak clearly, because my silent words I’ll be screaming, until the whole world hears me.