“Within & Without”

 

I see you from afar,

A distant blinking amidst the stars,

Clothed in the clouds of infant galaxies.

Infinitely far away,

Separated by a veil I cannot see through,

Cannot pierce or penetrate,

Yet from the moment of my conception,

We were destined to be inseparable.

 

I see you up close,

Magnified by decisive eyes.

Illuminated in the smallest grain of sand

Formed by the slow passing of time.

I peer through panes of glass

To see little worlds created by little gods.

You’re revealed in those tiny abstracts,

Those thoughts that have taken form.

 

 

I feel you on my skin;

Gone with an exalted breath,

Then inhaled again.

A fleeting flickering, tickling against flesh.

I feel you in my soul;

Twisting and turning,

Tumultuous, tortuous,

Relentless conviction.

 

I know what you’d say

If we stood face to face;

I’m killing myself

With the decisions I make.

 

I know what you’d tell them

If they’d only listen;

The same thing you’re telling me-

We’re consumed by insanity.

 

Now I hear what you’ve been saying,

Whispering gently since my infancy.

You only want one thing from me.

My temporal eternity.

My brief immortality.

 

The life that I covet,

Dedicate selfishly to myself.

A fiend defending my own depravity,

I am deceived

By a world that is not at all what it seems.

 

It’s not much to ask, you say.

I only want to take the pain away.

It’s a small price to pay.

And I know

But I ignore you anyway.

 

I can’t let you in.

Or rather,

I won’t let you stay.

 

Within me, you are the lover of my soul-

Untouchable, but never once letting me go.