I was so close to nirvana but disaster had to come

Trembling, sweating dripping, heart beating like a drum

It could be all over in an instant

Leaving me crying in my bedroom, seeming senseless

Couldn’t keep the pressure from pushing in

Money problems

Leading me to a hunger from within

Education left me dumb-founded

My dreams are evaporating like balloon clouds, floating away

Like astronauts getting higher

And so I put pen to paper again

Letting my frustrations bleed onto the paper like a red, exploding, fountain pen

18 years of hard dedication could be flushed for 3 grand

Suddenly, the sure thing becomes a far cry

Black, educated woman trying to move from ghetto to Webster Groves was a good lie

I demonstrated financial need but I guess it wasn’t enough

Waiting on that letter in the mail is like trying to catch a poker king in a flawed bluff

So I write to keep myself sane

Writing and waiting—to keep the worry and stress off my brain