What's a home?

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"What's a home?"
 
What do you call a place 
Where you are unconditionally love?
Where you feel completely safe
When your life is really rough?
 
Are there people there? 
Will they make me happy? 
Will they care for me when life is really crappy?
 
Will they give me confidence? 
Will they support my hopes and dreams?
Or will they crush it all and leave me there to bleed?
 
How wonderful that seems
A place like that in life
Where I won't scream, cry, or want to
Die
 
Where memories won't haunt me
Where violence doesn't exist
Where I won't want to flee
Where I can live in a peaceful bliss
 
But all I see 
Is trembling hands
Clutching weapons
And shrieking demands
 
I see threats of suicide
I see anger and fear
I see it in my siblings eyes
And I know that they can hear
 
Hearts are broken
As hurtful words are hurled
Hearts are shattered 
When I see there is broken glass and blood 
 
Cops are called
Someone's taken 
And I can only sit there shaking
 
All I know is anger
All I know is hurt
All I see is violence and people at their worse
 
All I do is keep silent
And keep the sorrow within 
All I do is sit there and hope my life will end
 
I'm so close to breaking 
I was so close to dying 
Because that suicide threat
Was my way to stop trying
 
This place is a hellhole 
This place a curse 
But it's not like anyone notices
Cause it's been going on for months
 
I don't belong in my house
I don't belong in school
And no matter how hard I try
Life is just simply too cruel
 
I wrote this poem as a way to cope
But no matter how hard I try
I just can't put it into words
 
I just want to be happy
But I feel so alone 
I just want to belong 
But a house is not a home

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thekaylamassey

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