Waking Up with a Day's Worth of Regret, and a Bullet Between the Eyes

With time staring me in the face
I scan my surroundings for
a brief and subtle moment,
making it a point
not to let my presence be known
but I notice I am too late,
as you gaze at me
from across this fluttered room.
You ask me,
"would you like a drink?"
to which I provide no answer.
I sit up as if this action were my last,
drinking the fresh air
like a depressed drunk
with the same motive of escaping my situation.
I need to think
think man, think
Silence is painted across the room,
then slashed away.
"You know why you're here,
You glared at me,
red beams shooting from your eyes
and connecting with me.
I began to pace around my head
gathering any and all words that
didn't involve pleading for mercy and I said

"Then you know why I am doing this."

I stared down the barrel of this loaded gun, 
and sent an open invitation to Time
like a lonely grandmother
clinging on to the comfort of
a family gathering,
but, like the lonely grandmother,
I am left alone.
I can feel his fingers tremble
on the trigger
as if begging me to give him a reason
to push it down.

I thought of my wife. 
I thought of my wife alone,
being accompanied only by Time
trying to comfort her by 
holding her hand,
while she cries
wishing she had more
to spend with me,
and I shed a tear.
Think man, think

"I'm sorry I have to do this,"
you said,
the gun lightly kissing my forehead.
I could feel the animosity of the moment
and I could hear it screaming in my face

"I'm sorry."



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