I’m not depressed

My parents think about it though.

 Lately my emotions have been so pressed,

Is my mom’s absence to blame?

Knowing that my life will never be the same.

Trying to live up to my name,

But how can I be the victory of the people,

When I’m not victorious within myself.

 

I guess you could say I need help.

As I look around I see nothing else,

Wishing I could talk to a friend,

But all of them have problems of their own.

So I just chill with pen, pencil, and paper.

I don’t know how to articulate how I feel,

Writing just makes me feel safer.

Is it a guy thing or a Nick thing?

I feel like something is missing.

 

I look down and remember the gold cross chain glistening.

I know God is always around listening,

But I wish he was here physically.

Only because it’d feel more personal.

 

I haven’t cried in a long time,

I should be sad,

But I’m not

I don’t know how I feel.

Now I know why drugs sell so well,

Faded to the clouds

To get out of hell.

That’s what people always look for

The nearest exit.

It was locked,

But now it’s open.

My thoughts flow in slow motion,

But I still dream.