When I was little,

I wanted to talk, and 

then I wished I could see, and

then I wished I could run as fast as the other kids in PE.

Later on, I wanted to be




I wanted to have tons of friends,

and I wished that I was free,

and I really never wanted others looking at me.


I think that everyone, 

at some point, 

has something that they want to change about themselves.

To be different,

or to fit in;

to be "happier."

Maybe the athlete loves school, 

but pretents he doesn't becasue he's embarrased, 

or maybe that perfect girl, 

hates the mirror, and never eats.

Maybe the boy who thinks he's gay spends his entire life constantly praying that it's not true.

But why?


You see, in our society, there's this set of "standards" by which we're all supposed to abide.

Act a certain way; look a certain way;

feel a certain way; be a certain way.

A certain way to talk; a certain way to see;

a certain way to run; a certain way to be


And I hate that. 

It disgusts me, the fact that we are expected to conform to these expectations. 

That people are made to feel ashamed of their diversity and of their individuality.

Isn't the point of DNA to make us different from eachother?

Shouldn't we be embracing the traits that we've been given,

that make us special?

Why is it that people are made to hate themselves, and to feel remorse about themselves, and to wish they could change?


Now, I'm not saying I'm immune.

I definetely have issues too.

I have fears,

and I'm insecure, 

and even though I'm a teenage girl,

I'm not really sure if it's fair that I feel this way.


I'm afraid. 

I'm afraid

of the future, 

and of uncertainy, 

and what other people think of me. 

I wake up every single day

fearing the things I don't know, and

fearing others' opinions, and

a life in fear is a really shitty life to live.



But, someone else once told me

that we have to be brave. 

That bravery is the only way

to truly conquer your fears and 

to be the person who you were truly meant to be.

And I think that she may have been right.


I have come to realize that every single day, each of us makes a choice,

whether it be subconsciously,

about how to live our lives. 

It's not easy,

(trust me, I know),

but I also know,

for a fact,

that I want to be happy with myself.

And I'm pretty sure that most people do too.


So, maybe it's not society that needs a cleansing. 

Maybe it's individuals themselves. 

It's an everlasting struggle, but the only thing keeping you from being

proud, and

strong, and


is yourself.

And the only person who can fix that

is you. 


Need to talk?

If you ever need help or support, we trust CrisisTextline.org for people dealing with depression. Text HOME to 741741