The truth (among other things)

People like drama 

they are hard to please 

hard to entertain 

hard to hold on to 

slipping through your fingers like water 

 So far gone.  

 

When I do the right thing I feel hollow 

empty and alone 

it had to be done 

you got under my skin 

and i don't think it's a good thing  

 

there's a reason I have walls  

i dont want you to tear them down 

I don't think you can handle what's on the other side 

 

so I rebuilt with bricks I made of bitterness  

and annoyingness  

and bitchiness 

i tried my best to be my worst 

to kill the warm thing that had started to grow  

between us

I smothered it with bricks 

and drove the wedge 

between us.

 

But there was never an us

i would say say welcome to the outside 

but I never let you in 

 

I had moments when I let my guard down 

because you get under my skin   

and it's not a good thing. 

 

those moments,  

they were mistakes  

i hope i am strong enough 

to never repeat,  

for your sake 

and mine.

 

ive never wanted to kiss someone so much one moment 

and chuck them off a bridge the next 

i will not let this be 

sad beautiful tragic   

i am not some silly girl 

in a frilly dress

i refuse to let my heart break  

i refuse to be another demon in your life

 

  I've never felt this way before  

and that is dangerous   

Which is reason number 1 

that I had to do 

what I did.

 

reason 2: you love someone else.  

and as much as I would rather chuck her off a bridge instead. love means something.  

Reason number three: I'm not a good person; not good enough.  

and she is a saint in your eyes while I..... I don't think you even see me really.

Reason number 4: I know when someone's heart is taken  

despite being a terrible human being  

I have some morals.   

sometimes.

 

 I am wise and foolish. 

Wise because I drove you away 

and also foolish because now I can't talk to you 

without feeling hurt. 

And that's idiotic.  

 

But it's the idiotic truth I think  

you deserve to know 

see what I saved you from? 

A lifetime of me  

and what could have been.   

Good deed complete  

broken heart check 

facade back in place 

And we are a go. 

 

So Thats it  

the truth. 

I'm sorry. 

That's all. 

 

 

 

This poem is about: 
Me

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