Everything I am is to be dehumanized. All the morals for me are thrown out of the window because we keep our biases closer and my existence is a crime.

Time keeps getting older but history always reincarnates into hate to love, to hate to love. To hate, and to love again that is sugar coded to protect the hate the privilege live off of.

A privileged lady asked how I could save humanity while I'm over here trying to save my sanity and now I'm being forced to talk to someone who can’t empathize with my suffering unless I look like them. Now I have to bite my tongue down to hold the truth again until it bleeds and my blood pours out in pain and the color red reminds me of an emotional rage I felt when I saw death. The self-harm that I tased is the frustration someone in power can give to someone who is stuck in a system that wants people like me dead. I take it out on myself wanting to put a bullet through my head because my oppression is the cause and home in my depression. They only call these feelings chaotic when I have them but it's more human than many and probably you.

Everyone is so fastidious when they see another dehumanized victim dead, they want to see the flaw in them soon as possible to keep the same narrative. That is when you see these things that are called rules, morals, and principles are gateways to biases that are hypocritical and were living in a lie. No, I have never felt free of the land that grows off of slavery I only pretend to care for history that was not meant for me, the history that would hate me, the white American heroes who weren’t making freedom for me.

We want to be free and have reparations but all we get are sorries from the bottom of their guilt or another plan to destroy what they hated but never destroy what they did because harm is what some live off of and what someone like me is dying from.