No, really, thank all of you.
In this society with it's walls of condemnation,
For those of us who aren't as great as the best of you,
Thank you for the constant reminder of my flaws.
And thanks for pointing out the hair that's out of place, the smudge of lipstick on my lower lip, no doubt from me talking too much, and let's not forget how I don't have the thigh gap that is so coveted by us girls.
Another thank you is in order
To those of you who make it your mission for me to hate myself.
I wonder if you even realize that I have constant reminders everywhere, without you chiming in and bringing me down...
Every time I sit and I have that unpleasant bit of pudge just a top of my stomach...
And then there is the mirror,
We are old friends and go way back but just like the girls in high school we have a shallow relationship based off of appearances... When I look good we see each other often because I get something out of it that I like
But when I am at my worst and I need someone to be there I resent you because you, who should be unbiased make me fall deeper into this cycle of self loathing that I have been so desperately trying to crawl out of...
Well what am I a silly teenager, with no concept of what the future holds and what this life is all about? What am I to do?
Now that I have gotten to this age where I am supposed to be independent who do I turn to?
What do I do?
Where can I turn to when my reflection is my own worst enemy?
Well now it's time to paint a face on and wait until the facade of a happy go lucky, dumb girl, whose heart has been broken one too many times, falls and then I just have to ask myself and all of you one question...
Once you take away the make up, the false promises, and the fake smiles... What do you have left?
All I have are a couple of words that have been used so much that I couldn't honestly recall why they are used in the first place but all I know is they are what I'm left with and all I have...
So to those who understand and to those who don't
To those who are insecure and those who are strong
To those girls and to those boys
I give you what's left.
From the bottom of my heart
And the core of my existence I give you my all and I give you my thanks
No really I thank you for helping me realize that dwelling on your thoughts of what makes me pretty or not made me ugly
I hated you for making me hate myself and then all of a sudden in the midst of your hurtful words and fog of negativity I woke up
I woke up from the nightmare that you created for me in my own mind
I woke up and realized that it is much easier to love than it is to hate
And it is more befitting of a girl my age to wear a face of approval and thoughts of others rather than roam about in a world where it's every girl or boy for themselves
Because the cold hard truth is that the truth isn't cold and it's certainly not hard
It's warm and it's soft and it's cozy and it's one that is basic human nature that has only been forgotten but not lost
No it has never been lost
All it is is love and it is in our genes in every fiber of our human being that states we should love others and love unconditionally and love with our hearts and love with our words and not just talk but also walk and not just walk alone but walk with others and spread the love we have in our hearts
Remember this if nothing else
When you are sad and you feel no love give love to someone else because while your all may not be enough for just yourself it should be enough if shared... Because the more real connections you have the better the life you lead
So just remember I am here I am flawed and more importantly I am real...
And I love you and I'm thanking you for letting me love you and every imperfection that constitutes your perfectly imperfect existence.