I feel like I'm drowning
Retreating into my mind
My brain hurts
My legs numb
My arms heavy and palms sweaty
Body throbbing and tears streaming
I lay, crying
And sobbing
And scratching
And screaming
Maniacally
Thrashing
Convulsing
Dark dreaming

My pupils dilate
My irises brighten
My eyes burn and sting and blur
My vision is missing
My brain is muddled, filled with rushed whispers
I need it cleared
Have to focus
Another scream rips out as my body flips on its side and hits my head into my pillow
I have to breathe
Ignore
Focus
Find my reality

5 things I see
Blanket
T-shirt
Ceiling
Hand
Tears-stop, desk
Breathe in, breathe out
In, out
4 things I feel
Pillow
Clothing
Futon
Ceiling- no, blanket
Breathe in, breathe out
In, out

3 I hear
My voice which is raspy
My hamster while he's drinking
The static from the lightbulbs,
Quiet, subtle
Just like me
Breathe in, breathe out
In, out
2 smell
Boyfriend on my shirt
Hamster in his cage
Relax
Calm
Breathe
In, out
In, out
1 thing I taste
My mouth

Heh
Everything is okay
My boyfriend is calling now,
He's here
Worried about me
I walk slowly downstairs,
Embracing my newfound peace and easily ignoring
The tears on my cheeks