Talking to Myself

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Insecure, Sensitive, Bitch, Bipolar. These are all the things you have been called, all the things you have been pushed to believe you are.

But Cierra, I'm here to relay an important message - a bit of clarification.

See they call you insecure because they don't understand, how you live behind a wall your father built and abandoned.

How you've grown so accustom to the loathing feeling you have for men and the hate you have for yourself. Why of course you hate yourself, not even your own father loved you enough to stay.

But that's okay, because you havea mother who is your moon, your stars, your sun, your rain and the hairline of your mane -sacrificing her dreams, her pride, her will, her legs and shoulders for you.

But that worries you doesn't it? I know you have a habit of questioning your own existence.

Had you not been born would she have been able to move on like your sperm donar did?

Marrying that bitch penny and taking selfies on the beach, not a single dime of child support paid.

"Huh? Oh no, I'm just talking to myself."

They call you sensitive and bitchy because they don't know.

Low-self-esteem? You never had "esteem" to begin with.

You constantly live trying to check yourself, correct yourself, work harder, be smarter, prettier, skinner.

You struggle to work three times a week to have money for yourself because your mother had none to give you.

You skipped out on meals for two days to be flawless, but to the mirrors standards you haven't even scratched the surface.

So when they kick you when you've been crawling in dirt practically all your life, how can you be sorry for snapping.

When  they bitch and moan about their first world problems from their two parent homes, how can you relate or genuinely care? 

"Uh? Nah, I'm just talking to myself."

Cierra they call you bipolar because they will never be able to comprehend,

That there is no one you can really trust or depend on.

You are your own: Body guard, therapist, lover and friend.

But what did you expect; this is high school after all.

"What? No, I'm just talking to myself." 

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