I close my eyes.

I lean back.

I breathe deeply, in, out, in, out.

I let my heart beat slow.

And I’m gasping for air.

Coughing, sputtering.

My throat tightens.

I jolt upward.

My pulse races.

My eyes are wide open.

My breathing is labored.

Tears prick at the corner of my eyes.

And nothing feels right.

My breathing slows.

But I’m still dazed.

And I’m crying silent sobs.

My body shudders.

Tears flow down my face.

I’ve been suppressing and repressing for too long.

Bottling it up till’ it comes pouring over the edge.

But hey, that’s how I am.

The heart wants what it wants.

But my heart can’t have what it wants.

But that’s okay.

Because the heart wants what it wants.

And the heart doesn’t want me.

But hey, that’s just how it goes.

Be free to fly through a land of wherever you’ll go.

But hey, the heart wants what it wants.