Living a dead life.

Full of hatred towards love.

Depressed happiness.

I take forced breaths.

Sometimes I wish I could gather up the energy to stop them.

I complain about the life I have,

but I made it this way.

And I am doing nothing to change it.

Im actually just making it worse.

They say God never closes one door

without opening another.

But I find myself trying to break down

and open the ones He has closed.

And when I see the ones that He has opened,

I close them.

I do not realize what I am doing until it is too late.

I try to let all of my problems flow out through my eyes.

But that only makes it worse.

It blurs my vision.

I cannot see where I am going

or what I am doing.

I mess up the few good things I have in my life.

I have someone to make me laugh and smile

then I mess it up.

But when someone comes along that does me wrong and breaks my heart,

I do everything I can to keep them.

I wonder why I do the stupid things that I do. . .