13

years of shame.

 

Your eyes lock into mine

with mixed emotions.

The one I can’t simply bear

is ever so present

...

Disgust.

 

You look at me as an

unrecognizable creature

and

You talk at me as an

unrecognizable creature.

 

constantly and viciously

repeating the wrongs I’ve done,

and prophesize what I’ll become.

 

It is hard to get

a single word out

because everything I say

gets twisted around

and formed into something

...

wicked.

 

constantly stating

I don’t love you enough or

I don’t care.

 

viciously stating

that the love I have for him

is more than

I have for you.

 

It might seem that way

because of the emotional barrier

I have built up.

But I do,

you mean so much,

that some nights I have to

check on you.

 

14 years of shame

We still  do not  connect.

 

15 years of shame

I miss you.

 

16 years of shame

I could never live without you.

 

13,14,15,16

Mom.